Face Values

I want to run an ultra marathon.

This year I set a goal to complete a 100km run.
So I hired a coach and followed a running program every day.

For about 8 weeks, it went really well. However, as my runs got longer, they became less enjoyable and more difficult to fit into my day.

I was scheduled a 2hr run on Mother’s Day, which I didn’t do. Then I cancelled a run for a meeting. Then for a padel game. Then because I was tired.

And for a while, I still fooled myself into thinking I want to run an ultra marathon.

It took me a while to realise that, although I like the idea of running an ultra marathon, my actions tell me I enjoy spending time with my family and playing padel more.

If I truly wanted to run an ultra, why haven’t I done it already? What I am prepared to give up to make room for running? My family time? My work?

I took ‘I want to run an ultra marathon’ at face value.

I fooled myself into thinking I value it. Yes I wanted it a little bit, and maybe I’ll revisit it in the future, but right now I want other things more.

Actions are the only measure of someone’s values. And if I tell you I want to run an ultra-marathon, but I’m sitting on the couch, then..

I dont want to run an ultra marathon